


Mein Herz

by PortalCryptid



Series: Team Fortress 2 Oneshots [1]
Category: Team Fortress 2
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Getting Together, M/M, Mild Gore, Not Beta Read, a lil tidbit for ya, btw the title for this document is literally "guess I'll gay", fuck idk what else to tag this as, good enough, oh fuck I did it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-14
Updated: 2018-02-14
Packaged: 2019-03-18 05:50:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,265
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13675536
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PortalCryptid/pseuds/PortalCryptid
Summary: Valentine's Day doesn't go as planned for Spy... But that's not a bad thing.~~(based off this prompt: http://unblockingwritersblock.tumblr.com/post/107810748508/writing-prompt-11-take-heart)





	Mein Herz

For three years, Spy’s Valentine’s Day went on an unbroken schedule. First, he gets out of bed and gets dressed. Then, Pyro makes heart-shaped pancakes for everyone. Nobody skips breakfast this day out of fear of offending the creature, but nobody complains about the food either. Spy wouldn’t admit it out loud, but the arsonist’s cooking ability is much better than expected. Even when burnt, the food is never disappointing.

After breakfast, there’s the usual scheduled battles. Once those are out of the way, everyone tiredly drags themselves back to their base and cleans up. The mercenaries are left to their own devices until dinner, which was when the Engineer cooked. After dinner, they would either watch a shitty movie or talk of their lives before RED. Of course, the spy never revealed a thing. Those talks were saved for when he sat with Sniper in his nest, or when he swapped stories with Medic.

The main event of the day was between returning to the base and having dinner: handing out valentines. Spy was surprised to find that everyone partook in this tradition, which meant he was supposed to do it, too. He did so begrudgingly, and only did the basics that the others had done; heart-shaped pieces of colored paper with candy taped to them and some message written on the back. Sometimes they did something a little different, such as when Scout gave Pyro a large box of matches and a handmade card. It was a shittily made thing, something a child could have done better with, but the arsonist adored it. Spy himself would put the cards in everyone’s room when they were all out of their rooms. Scout always got extra candy.

For three years this tradition had been up and running, and Spy expected things to go just the same the fourth year.

He was wrong.

Everything was as normal until they heard that there were no battles that day. The Administrator and Miss Pauling were especially tight-lipped about it when asked, but none of the mercenaries complained; that just meant that they could have more time to themselves, or to spend more time with the others. Medic seemed to especially appreciate this time off, because he was back in the infirmary as soon as he heard the news, locking the doors behind him. It was a shame, Spy was looking forward to playing chess with him like they had planned.

_ Oh well, _ he thought as he straightened his tie. That just meant he could check and see if Sandra had sent him another letter.

Usually, they started off with the usual greetings before she asked about Scout and if he knew about who he was to Spy (always a hard  _ no _ ). She would talk about herself and the other boys, how they were doing, recent achievements, the occasional other tidbit of her life before she signed off. 

This time, he didn’t get a letter from her. Instead, it was a card. This wasn’t unusual; every holiday she made it her mission to find the cheesiest, most imbecilic card she could find and send it to him. They were absolutely ridiculous, and Spy loved them. Even though the pair had long since broken things off, they had managed to maintain a joyful friendship through letters and the occasional phone calls. He had no idea why the Administrator allowed this, but he was thankful for it nonetheless.

After taking the time to appreciate the card, he slipped it in his jacket and made his way back to his dorm. It wasn’t where he  _ actually _ slept, but he always spent some time in there to make it seem lived in. Couldn’t have the enemy Spy catching him off guard  _ that _ easily, after all. He would leave the trips to respawn to his teammates.

He stopped once his dorm was in sight and gave a slight frown. In front of his room, was a package. For anyone else, it would’ve seemed unsuspicious... Not for Spy. For him, it was a potential threat. If not, well... In his profession, one could never to be too careful. With this in mind, he carefully edged himself closer to the package. Upon closer inspection, the only thing out of place was a note that read “for Spy.” There was a heart shape around the words. The box had no other markings. 

“So what is it, mate?” A voice asked behind him, nearly making Spy jump out of his skin.

The Frenchman turned to see Sniper, a bemused expression on his long face. The spy never knew how this man could sneak up on him the way he did, but he decided not to dwell on it at the time. He didn’t want to wound his pride more than it had already been.

“I haven’t opened it yet, Bushman,” he snapped. 

“Well, it’s the first time Medic’s come out all day, so ya may as well open it,” the taller man replied nonchalantly, ignoring Spy’s clipped tone.

“... You’re sure about that?”

“Well, I just saw him come and put it here. I doubt that it’s the BLU Spy. If you’re not takin’ the day off snoopin’ around, why would he?”

Spy hated to admit it, but Sniper was right. Days like this hardly ever came, and while it was the perfect opportunity to spy on the other team, he knew that BLU would be doing about as much as RED was, which was to say nothing of importance.   
With a sigh, Spy shoved the note in his pocket and picked the box up. He gave Sniper a cautious glance, rolling his eyes when the lanky man wiggled his eyebrows. With a deep breath and a hope of respawn still working, he hesitantly opened the box to reveal another, slightly smaller metal box. He huffed before removing the lid from this box before shoving the lid back on with what certainly wasn’t a gasp. After getting over the initial shock, he slowly opened it back up to reveal a heart. A literal heart.

There was a little bit of blood that oozed from the organ, making him question where the doctor got the thing. He would’ve thought that the parts Medic had were already drained. On top of it was a blood- soaked note that said, “Happy Valentine’s Day,  _ Mein Herz _ .” Medic certainly had a sense of humor.

“That’s... Creative,” the Australian mumbled as he looked over Spy’s shoulder. “I never took the doc for a romantic.”

The shorter man looked at the organ with interest. It was certainly an odd thing to give to someone, but where Medic is concerned, oddities were commonplace. When he got past the initial shock of being given a literal organ, the gesture was... Endearing.

Spy snapped the box closed, removing that train of thought before he could let it go any further. To distract himself, he chose to consider what he was supposed to do with this present. “If I were to store this in the refrigerator, ‘ow angry would the Engineer be?”

“Are ya serious, Spy? A human organ in the  _ fridge _ ?”

“I ‘ave no other place to put this. I can’t just leave it in my room. Besides, we don’t know if it’s ‘uman.”

Sniper opened his mouth to protest, but instead he paused and seemed to ponder for a moment. “... If you close the box and put your name on it or somethin’, you might get away with it.”

“Not a bad idea, Bushman.” Spy opened the door to his dorm and set the box on the bed, searching for a marker. “I ‘ope you’ll be keeping your mouth shut on this.”

“Sure. Just don’t expect me to cover your ass if someone opens the bloody thing.”

He snorted. “Wouldn’t dream of it. ‘ow does ‘touch and you will die’ sound?”

“It sounds like you really don’t want anyone to fuckin’ touch your organ in a box.” “Good.” Spy then proceeded to write his name and the threatening message on the top and sides of the box, the taller man peering over his shoulder. 

With his message written clearly, he and Sniper deposited the package in the fridge, making casual conversation on the way. Thankfully, nobody suspected anything from the pair, although they did seem curious. He’d have to find a new spot for the thing before someone got  _ too _ curious.

After a few more minutes of conversation, he excused himself to his room, claiming that he was going to rest in his room for a while. If Sniper knew what he was  _ really _ up to, he didn’t say anything, instead choosing to tip his hat before going to talk to Demo.

Not wanting to waste time dawdling, Spy quickly went to his _ real _ sleeping arrangements to collect the valentines, cloaking before making his way through the dorms, putting them in places where they would be clearly seen. He was nearly caught by the Soldier, but he was fortunate enough that the Engineer called him, distracting him enough so that Spy could get out without being noticed. Once the other men left to do whatever it was they were doing, the rest of the “deliveries” went without a hitch.

He saved Medic’s room for last, only hesitating once he set the thing down. This one was... Different from the others he had done in the past. It wasn’t anything especially  _ creative _ like what was currently in the fridge, but Spy had put a little more effort into this one than usual. He had decorated one of the usual heart-shaped pieces of paper one with little doves, making sure to put a little bit of red on one to make it look like Archimedes. In the center was the classic “Happy Valentine’s Day,” and while it seemed simple enough, he had spent ages making the words look as neat as possible. He had spent a long time on the card, and it actually turned out better than he was expecting it to... Though now that he was standing here he realized how ridiculous he was being about the whole thing.

He was a man who had kidnapped, killed, and even  _ tortured  _ others countless times... And now he was brought to his knees by  _ romantic feelings _ . He didn’t let them stop him from leaving Sandra and a baby Scout, why were they driving him now? And with one of his own  _ teammates _ ? 

He sighed and leaned against Medic’s desk, noting how... Empty it looked compared to the one in Medic’s laboratory. Actually, he realized as he glanced around the rest of the room, the place looked barely lived in. He must’ve been sleeping in the infirmary. How typical of him. 

“... Spy?” The doctor questioned, breaking the spy out of his thoughts.

As if on cue, the doctor walked in to find Spy at his spot, valentine still visible... Just like the lean man who held it. The Frenchman blanched upon realizing this, his brain trying to find ways to get out of this situation and coming up empty. The other man just looked at him in bewilderment, taking another step into the room.   
“... ‘ello, doctor,” Spy responded, trying to keep a nonchalant demeanor. “Fancy seeing you ‘ere.”

“... This is my room?”

“Yes... Yes it is.” Out of all the times his mind decides to make him an awkward mess...

Medic didn’t seem to mind, instead choosing to walk towards the spy with a curious look on his face. 

“What’s this?” He asked, snatching the valentine out of the Frenchman’s hand before he could react. Spy’s mind raced with a million thoughts trying to find ways to explain himself... All of which stopped as soon as he saw the look on the other man’s face.

Medic was usually known for smiling like the maniac he was no matter what the situation. It was off-putting to most people, and although in Spy’s  _ annoyingly  _ lovesick mind it was endearing, he would usually agree with them... But this was a different smile. It was soft... Uncharacteristically so. In the four years tha Spy had known him, he had  _ never  _ seen Medic with this kind of expression... And his heart (which in a metaphorical sense does  _ not _ exist) melted at the sight.

The other man opened his mouth to say something, but whatever he was about to say was cut off by Engineer shouting, “ _ Spy _ !”

The Frenchman suppressed a wince. “... ‘e must ‘ave found your present in the fridge.”   
Medic raised a brow. “The fridge?”

“... I didn’t ‘ave anywhere else to put it.”

This earned a laugh from the German man. “Fair enough.”

Spy found himself smiling, but this didn’t last long as he heard the Engineer’s angry voice begin to come closer.  _ Merde _ ...

Upon hearing the Texan in the hall, Medic put the valentine in his jacket and went to kiss Spy’s cheek. “Go hide,  _ Liebling.  _ I’ll cover you. Meet me in the infirmary after dinner, I’ve got a  _ real _ present for you.”

Spy could only nod, finding himself dumbstruck as he watched the doctor open his door and step out. Snapping himself out of his stupor, he cloaked and slipped out of the room, only uncloaking when he arrived at his sleeping area and he knew he was safe from Engineer’s clutches. He leaned against the wall to steady himself, his heart fluttering in his chest as he put a hand to the cheek that Medic kissed.

He felt like a young fool, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. He had a date tonight and he wouldn’t miss it for the world.

**Author's Note:**

> aaaa thanks for reading! this is my first TF2 work, so I hope this turned out okay!


End file.
